Broken. 

Her signatures didn’t match, neither did her cards work 

Heels hurt her ankles; and the back zip made her uncomfortable

She stood patiently looking at her watch 

She was hoping something, somehow would tick in the clock 

The minutes turned to hours and hours into a day

Her routine of waiting never changed its way 

Righteousness never flowed in through the passage of her door 

She never knew what it would be if life had been tuned not abhorred

Perhaps destiny, is what she consoled her heart of!

Maybe the winds were listening to her in disgust and moved on 

Patience gave into pretence; circles reduced to dots 

Brokenness defined itself through her unnerving faith and trust.

Why?! 

When a child is born, the umbilical chord is cut by someone, he is cleaned up by someone, he is wrapped up by someone and he is fed by someone. He, is dependent on everyone around; he trusts everyone around; he is a part of them and they are a part of him. To him, they are all part of the same ‘life’. Trust, faith, love and being take care of comes as part and parcel of his very entity. Right after he is born, he places his trust in everyone without knowing his relationship to them, without knowing what work they do professionally, without knowing how much money they have or how much money he has. He is born a human and he comes with his basic rights of trusting humans for being human and for making him one of them in time, through what they all share, ‘life’ 🙂 

Then why through the years, these very core rights of his on humans needs to be earned back?! Why does he doubt intentions of others?! Why does he think twice and even thrice or several times before loving another human?! Why his vision of ‘trust’ gets restricted?! Why?! 

Life, never said to the soul that was born that ‘go and earn money, earn a name for yourself’.. Instead life said, ‘go and live me. Live me well.’ .. And ‘live well’ took into materials so deeply that the very core of his rights as a human, on other humans and on life itself, got blurred. 

Why would trusting another human beyond relationships be so hard?! Why would loving another human beyond defined boundaries be hard?! These are what we were born with, these are what we are made of! So why would we bring and build other humans differently?! 

Life is what it is. 

Things will get bad to worse. You might see your loved ones die, you might see them struggle in and out in search of a ‘better life’. Your faith will be shattered and broken into pieces, some might even tell you that ‘faith’ and ‘belief’ are just plain words, mean nothing and aren’t significant enough. You might even find yourself being punished and cornered for no fault of yours. You might feel the pressure of egos and find yourself in the middle of someone else’s power struggle. 
Life, is not going to be how you had hoped for or wanted it to be. Life will exactly be how it is meant to be. It doesn’t matter what your plans are and what your ideologies are. You will be crucified, if that’s what life wants you to feel. 
You will have your moments of pleasure, you certainly, will have your moments of laughter. But you do have to return back to the grind because moments don’t add up to make life; moments add up to make memories of your time within your life. 
In general, if you aggregate life, your life or anyone’s life, you will see the sufferings aren’t that different in nature and neither are they profoundly dignified. 
Why then are you and me in here in life?! 🙂 
Probably because we need to feel the pulsating heart, to feel the tears that roll from eyes to cheek, to feel the pure and the impure being carried through the arteries and veins in harmony. 

We are in life to feel life within the boundaries of our limited human understanding! 

Silent tears 

As the silent tears made their way onto my face,

I failed to see my own disgrace.

All I felt is my beautiful heart, that trusted you completely without a fraction of failure, even when we were far apart.

I did sense my own pride which was always wrapped up in humility because I knew I was right.

You then picked up the phone once again and said to me that I was being insane.

You said I didn’t understand and I never could, what goes at a distance is far less easy to be mistaken and comprehend.

I stayed silent, I heard you out, though it wasn’t a position that I would be in, by default.

You dropped the call, you brushed my faith away.

You didn’t even ask why was I being this way?

You thought you were right, you didn’t need any drama,

Let me remind you, I walked into your life because of your very karma.

I didn’t choose you, you chose me;

So when you decided to walk away, it could be anything but destiny.

It was a manmade call that you happily took, convenience rocked and trust overlooked.

I didn’t want to call you back, I no longer wanted to hold you, 

After you left, silent tears made their way through.

I looked at my palm as I wiped my tears away, wet in my own broken misery, they did feel heavy, so very odd to think! 

But I guess the silent drops of tears from any human eye, weigh the heaviest even when dropped from a brink. 

Of faith, Of belief .. 

I did believe I was God’s favourite kid in here
Maybe that’s why I didn’t really care
Of the fallen leaves and broken branches
Of men that stood tall and the ones that blasted
Of odds and evens and
Of Knights and peasants
but the day arrived when I was to be judged
On my own faith and belief packed in a fudge
I failed to keep my belief’s head high
I failed at everything that could hold my faith tight
Night after night my failures question me
They ask do I still believe in being God’s favourite kid?
I smile back in pain with tears running
I do, I say in all honesty, softly.