I burnt a thousand times, to get my light intensity right
I burnt in silence, in and out of sight
I cleaned my residues and I packed my ashes
I didn’t stop burning with the rain washes
I knew I had no choice or theory to fall back on
I also knew no textbook could tell me what was right and what was wrong
I knew no learned men and I knew I had no friend
I had to trace my own path, perhaps even carve it with my rough illuminating pen
A thousand times seems really long
Won’t you ask how many times I failed and fell down?!
Far too many and far too little, I don’t even recall the road on which I travelled
A distant memory, even distant past
I do feel that I want to pause and watch the intensity that I have chased thus far
Did I get it right or was I chasing a mirage?!
Perhaps I will never know or maybe I will, the day the ashes get carried away in my burial carriage.